I was just talking to someone yesterday about blogging and how difficult it is for me to really open up and allow others to see the real me. I suppose for some it is easy enough to just sort of put it all out there for others to see and let whatever happens happen. My past experiences have shown me that adults although more subtle, can be as vicious as the mean kids we grew up with. So I hesitate to open my heart and feelings in such an open forum.

I think it only fair and right that I should first and foremost tell y'all I am a Christian if you haven't already figured that out. I am not a bible thumper, but don't really care if someone calls me that. I never figured that beating someone with the good book did more than cause bumps, bruises, and bad tempers. I don't think that Christian equals "no sense of humor". I find a lot of things very funny, but there is a point that I do draw the line if the humor is set out to hurt others or is really just filthy for the sake of being pornographic. Yep, the next thing I will hear is that "Bodacious is a prude..." heard it all before.

I used to be a people pleaser, but about 13 or 14 years ago I decided that it was impossible to please everyone, so I try to be what Jesus would have me be and let others think what they will. I still struggle with issues such as anger, disappointment, forgiveness of others, and just plain letting go. Yep, that's right christian's are human after all.

I can't hardly remember a time that I didn't want to be a nurse. I believed at the age of 16 that God had a calling for me to be a medical missionary....but I took the opposite road for a while. It took me many years to find the way back and realize when you don't accept what God's best is for you in the beginning....he will open another door or window if you ask. I may not get to go to a different country, but I can let the light that shines within me be an example even in a prison. Besides a prison is rather multi-national and I don't have to go far from home.

I have been married, divorced, and remarried. I have a husband who is my friend, fishing/hunting buddy, antique collector,lover of the outdoors, generally all around other half of me. We suit each other very well. It is a peaceful and easy feeling to be with him. Our children are all grown up and someday we want grandbabies!

I can be opinionated, hard headed, and unmovable at times. On the other hand I can be compassionate, pliable, and able to move over and let others have their way. I love deeply and don't use that word unless I really mean it. If I am angry enough to say something,it is hard for me to take back something I meant. So I try not to say things in anger...because words can cut deeper than the sword.

So seriously.... If you decide you like me great...if you don't that is fine too. If you want to gossip or say mean things..go for it. I don't believe a lot of what I hear anyway...seems gossips tend to gossip about each other. I haven't had any bad experiences here on blogstream as of yet. The folks that have stopped by my blog have all welcomed me with open arms and I really appreciate the welcome. However if you change your mind or if someone stops by and blasts me...all I can say is it is a public forum..do what ya gotta do. I will pray for you either way it goes. Now that was just a small dose of my serious side.


Now to lighten up a little...you may wonder what I am doing up at this hour once again...I will give ya one guess....Yep that's right the infamous dog child....Dottie May!


Don't worry about the "blue eye" effect. It was the flash....she isn't a demon dog that wakes me up in the middle of the night...no way she....or...oh my...maybe... Nah....no way...

I bet you are wondering who this old man in the John Deere cap could be? I would like to introduce you to an honorable man, Papa John. He is a self made and independent soul. At the tender age of 11 his father died and he became the "man" of the household. He became the person his younger sister and brother would look up to all of their lives. To this day his mother, who is 89 years old, will call to see what his opinion is on something before she goes ahead and does it her way. No guessing where he gets his independence.

He married shortly out of high school and raised two children with his first wife. They later divorced, but he never divorced his children. He was always there for them and they called on him often.

He married my mother in Dec. of 1985. He became my step father, but calling him that isn't really fair. He became more than that...he became my Dad. You see when my parents divorced I was 10. The man who fathered me decided he didn't really want to be a "Daddy" anymore and has had little contact with me or my brother for many years. This man stood up to the plate and did what Dads are supposed to do. He didn't have to love us. He could have just been nice and done the pleasant things to make our mother happy...but he was much more than that. He has always been there when we needed him and the words "I love you" really meant something when he said them.

I have to admit it took me a while to warm up. I was already grown up with a child of my own. He was never pushy. He was just himself. He didn't expect me to be anything other than myself. It seemed he really liked me for me. I didn't have to try to impress him and he didn't try to impress me. How refreshing!

I can recall the time I really understood how much he cared about me. I had been very sick after having gallbladder surgery. For some reason my liver decided it didn't want to work right. The big long medical term was "cholistasis". The medical folks weren't quite sure why I kept getting worse after my gallbladder was out. Lots of tests and lots of trips to the lab and hospital for several weeks after the surgery. It seemed nothing was working and the whole family was getting really worried if I was going to live or die. I was truly sick. I went to visit Mom and Papa John one morning. I kept trying to tell them I felt okay and asking if I looked any better. I could tell by the look in their eyes that I wasn't and I just broke down in tears. I began to sob. Papa John sat this grown woman on his lap and wrapped his big arms around me. He kept saying, " Now please don't cry, your gonna' make yourself sick." As he was saying this over and over...patting my back...he was sobbing too. He said, " I don't think I could stand it to loose my girl." God bless this man for healing my heart. I had needed a Dad for a long time. I don't think anyone was any happier than he was when I did get finally get well.

He deserves to be honored as my father. He has done the things any good "Dad" would do. He just had his 68th birthday on Nov.1. He has made it another year. I hope to keep him around a long time. He is fighting throat cancer. He has already battled diabetes...lost his right leg....lost his biological daughther.....lost his sister....and now is facing his own mortality. He is someone I admire for his tenacity and his zest for life. He wants to live, but he isn't afraid to die. He is a strong believer and has been saved by the grace of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I love him, but I know God loves him more. If you have a second, just say a prayer for him. I know he would appreciate it.

Here's to you, Papa John!!!!! Happy belated birthday and may God shower his blessings upon you! May your years be lengthened and may your health be restored.